Let us look at the awful majesty, the retarded brilliance of this:
Can you even find a good place to start bashing that caption? What could have been the thought process here:
ESPN.COM HOME PAGE WRITER: Zack Greinke? Who the hell is that? What are the Royals? That’s not Justin Verlander’s team! (spends three seconds looking up wins, losses, and ERA) A-HA!
My name is Speaking Sputnik and I am a Cubs fan. Why, you might ask, root for a team so famously bad, a cursed team, one that hasn’t won a championship for 101 years, a team known more for its ballpark’s atmosphere (Ozzie Guillen continues to assert that it is, indeed, simply a bar; I think that he just means the bleachers), than for anything it has done on the field recently? I was at Game Six of the 2003 NLCS, the Bartman game. I saw my team six outs from the World Series, and I saw them collapse as they are so want to do. I also was privileged enough to attend Game Two of the 2005 World Series, and, frankly, I enjoyed the Bartman game more. The Sox victory, while thrilling, could not compare to the feeling of my team, my cursed, sure-to-lose, choketastic team, being so close to the World Series that we could hardly fail to grasp it. I really thought I was witnessing history. Of course, reality intervened and the Flubs are the Flubs. I don’t blame Bartman, but, well, what if Alou had caught that foul pop?
It was quite the non-waiver MLB trade deadline today, with the White Sox picking up Jake Peavy, the Red Sox landing Victor Martinez and Casey Kotchman, and the Tigers dealing for Jarrod Washburn, among other deals.
However, it was a pretty rough deadline for many of us Blue Jays fans; not only did general manager J.P. Ricciardi trade star third baseman Scott Rolen to the Reds, they also apparently agreed to pay part of his contract and made the trade because he was unhappy in Toronto, making things even worse. Moreover, Ricciardi failed to deal Roy Halladay, the most-discussed potential trade piece; I argued a while back that the team should hang on to Halladay and go for broke next year, but the Rolen salary dump makes it clear that the Jays’ corporate masters are in full fire-sale mode, meaning Halladay’s likely to be traded in the winter. In my mind, it would have been better to deal him now and maximize his value with a year and a half left on his deal than hope you’ll get something later on when he’ll be a one-year rental.
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Am I an awful person for thinking Miguel Olivo oughtn’t be a Kansas City Royal anymore? He isn’t the worst player in baseball history, and not even the worst in the league right now. But he’s frustrating, and when his lubed-up glove gave Arizona a couple of runs in the 4th inning, I did some yellin’ in The Rookies’ executive chat room. There were a lot of capital letters and swearwords involved.
In a fit of fury, I maaaay have even referred to him as Miguel [Fellatio-administering] Olivo. I regret that choice of words now. All the same, Miguel C. Olivo is a special kind of awful when it comes to most facets of the game of baseball.
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Welcome to the only place where Derek Jeter AIDS jokes flow like wine, and where the beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano, that’s right, I’m talking about a little place called the RANT. Read the rest of this entry →
Welcome back to the RANT, the only place on the internet where we put old men before beautiful women. Music and boobs after the jump. Read the rest of this entry →
It’s been almost two years since the Chicago Cubs were put up for sale by the Tribune Company. Most Cubs fans (including myself) hoped they would be sold to billionaire Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban. Those hopes proved to be nothing more than pipe dreams as fans were told early and often that Cuban was not looked upon favorably by Bud Selig and many of baseball’s elite, and reports surfaced that Cuban was not one of three finalists to bid on the team. Most fans believed that their beloved Cubbies would be sold to one of Selig’s friends, who would ultimately turn the team into the Brewers. Read the rest of this entry →
