Aaron Rodgers: Property of the Bucs
Speaking Sputnik doesn’t remember the last two Saturdays but loves him a football Sunday. And imagining what’s going on in your favorite quarterback’s head.
Dear Diary,
Finalized guest list for my MVP cocktail party. Peyton is so going to love the hors d’oeuvres, I made them in the shape of the Lombardi Trophy I’m going to win. Classy, I know.
Drew Brees
No, dude, I swear. ESPN does this all the time.
Speaking Sputnik is, well, speechless. Here are the juicier excerpts from the Week 6 NFL QBs’ diaries.
Dear Diary,
Call me greased lightning because I sure as HELL struck twice! ESPN calls me a hero; Ray Lewis should just call me “Sir” because we got out of there with a W thanks to my GUN! YEAH! I mean, I might as well have told Longwell to sit himself down so I could kick the game-winning field goal! I could have done it! Flacco looked really depressed after the game so I told him– hey no big, kid. He doesn’t know it yet, but I’m going to give him and Stafford lessons on how to be Gunslingers one day. It’s going to be so sweet having my NFL brethren respect me! JaMarcus texted me today, but I don’t know, man, he shredded that Philadelphia D like he was a Pit Bull; he doesn’t need me to improve his Rocket Arm. Life coach teaching me proper use of semicolon for weekly ESPN column on myself. Favre out.
Brett Favre
Speaking Sputnik has been fighting against Roger Goodell’s Storm Troopers in support of the Fair Catch Kick, but he still broke into your favorite quarterbacks’ houses to get these gems. He also shared a crate of beets with John Madden. Viva la revolución!
Dear Diary,
Your move, Brees.
Peyton Manning
Brett Who?
Speaking Sputnik rallied from a blurry Saturday night to take a guess at what your favorite NFL quarterback is thinking right now.
Dear Diary,
Duuuuuuuude, we totally stuck those Pats like they were UCLA or something. I was sort of surprised, I mean I sort of expected my first game against Brady to be a pressure cooker or something. It was pretty chill, dude. I mean, the Jets fans totally weren’t that racist after I got that TD in the third, and our defense pretty much handled Brady. I was just sort of hoping that Kerry Rhodes wouldn’t get eaten, but the win was pretty nice. Hopefully I can, like, do better than Leinart and Palmer. I don’t even have Ochowhoever to throw to, dude. Solid game, solid. Peace.
Mark Sanchez
Week One was an interesting week for NFL quarterbacks; Speaking Sputnik imagines what may be going through some of the more notable QB’s heads.
Dear Diary,
I am a stud. What, we were playing the Lions? Whatever. Hello, Pro Bowl.
Drew Brees
"Wait, I gotta scribble this down."
The Rookies are proud to welcome SpeakingSputnik to the fold. Below is his imagining of Brett Favre’s diary in the past two months.
July 15, 2009
Dear Diary,
Today, I worked out with the kids at the local High School in Hattiesburg. It went great! The kids ran really fast and caught my passes! And they were really, really impressed with my Rocket Arm. One of them begged me to break his hand, but I told him I would give him a pair of autographed Wrangler Jeans instead. I texted with Adrian Peterson today, he seems like a really nice guy and he’s like me only with rocket everything instead of just a Rocket Arm! He’s like Bear Cavalry only he eats other Bears!
Brett
