The Rookies

…and that’s why I’ll never hunt rabid antelopes with Flavor Flav ever again.

Oh! Hello there. Didn’t see you come in. Why don’t you take a seat, grab some hot cocoa and get comfortable. It’s your favorite interviewer Shakey. And if I’m not your favorite, at least put me in your top 100. Okay, can you at least put me ahead of Bill O’Reilly? Today we have a treat for you on the internet front.

Last week, we interviewed the almighty Gourmet Spud, the bona fide number one commenter in the history of the world. Believe me, I read it. In a book. This week for our second edition of this fine series we have Gourmet Spud’s favorite commenter, the one and only Stev D, recepient of the first ever Deadspin Comment of the Week Award and commenting extraordinaire. So why don’t we go ahead and get this thing kick started!
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HANCOCK

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This is my attempt at a “weekly column.” Things for the upcoming sports weekend are ranked according to their merits and the level of interest that they should command from the general viewing public. Calling this a “weekly column” implies that it will happen every week. Rest assured this implication has no bearing and this column has no regular schedule aside from when I stop assaulting my body with alcohol long enough to sit down to write it.

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Why hello audience, Shakey here. You might recognize me as the longtime Deadspin commenter Flametown (which I was for almost two years until I realized it had a marginally gay connotation. Don’t want to attract John Amaechi or A-Rod or something), and now as the aforementioned name.

Now let me keep this short and to the point. I’ve been submerged in the Deadspin Universe since 2005, and have a passion for keeping the Deadspin comment area devoid of unworthy contributors. After countless hours spent in the Deadspin comment section, including a personal best 23 day commenting streak in December of 08, I’ve decided to use some of this time to attempt to blog. Thanks to esteemed commenter Rock You Like An Iracane, I have this opportunity.

I’m a 19 year old Temple journalism student living in constant fear of getting shot in the face. As a matter of fact, last night there was a shooting 100 feet from my residence, aptly titled by my fellow students as the ‘Crown Chicken Massacre.’

Those guys… are probably going to jail.

*Here’s another link to the story.

I love everything Philadelphia, but I try to stay away from homer-isms as much as possible. Unless you’re a Giants fan.

Anyways, lets have some fun, why don’t we? Hail the ‘Royal We’, keep up the good work Daulerio and RIP Barbaro. Deadspin commentariat unite!

And now I’ll leave you with a random Mitch Hedberg quote.

My lucky number is four billion. That doesn’t come in real handy when you’re gambling. “Come on four billion! Fuck! Seven. Not even close. I need some more dice. Four billion divided by six, at least.”

Oh yeah, and a hearty Fuck You to Facebook Commenters.