The Rookies

"Wait, I gotta scribble this down."

The Rookies are proud to welcome SpeakingSputnik to the fold. Below is his imagining of Brett Favre’s diary in the past two months.

July 15, 2009
Dear Diary,
Today, I worked out with the kids at the local High School in Hattiesburg. It went great! The kids ran really fast and caught my passes! And they were really, really impressed with my Rocket Arm. One of them begged me to break his hand, but I told him I would give him a pair of autographed Wrangler Jeans instead. I texted with Adrian Peterson today, he seems like a really nice guy and he’s like me only with rocket everything instead of just a Rocket Arm! He’s like Bear Cavalry only he eats other Bears!
Brett

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You dope.

So the inevitable happened.

Bill Simmons, ESPN’s Sports Guy, tweeted a sentiment today, trying to understand the feelings of the Green Bay Packers fans who will see Brett Favre line up for an opposing team for the first time this year.

This leads me to the obvious question: How does it feel? Read the rest of this entry →

The very definition of punchable.

It’s one of the basic rules of being a sports fan that when you turn on SportsCenter or check your favorite sports blogs or (if you’re particularly exotic) open the morning sports section that you’re going to see the same stories come up over and over and over again. It’s just common sense. If a media outlet sees a story that they believe holds a large amount of interest for its audience, that outlet is going to try to get as much out of that story as possible, whether or not people are actually still interested by the time the story plays out. Still, at any given point in the year, you can usually find at least 10 stories that, regardless of who’s covering them or what angle they come up with for it, audiences would be perfectly happy never to hear about again.

Here are five (well, sort of) stories I could really do without having to follow right now. Read the rest of this entry →

He wants so desperately to not hate something.

I present this with limited comment because I’ve always found Brett Favre to be sort of scruffily handsome, too. Read the rest of this entry →

Does “Minnesota Nice” not apply to aging, past there prime, quarterbacks with a penchant for throwing touchdowns?

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Full disclosure: I go to school in Minnesota.

Ever since the “Vikes like Favre” news broke, the prevailing point of view seemed to be that no one wanted him here, that he totally sucks and is a dick, and it would be super cool if he could just die (or fade into the ether, I don’t know how demigods go). Well, um, uh…

North Dakota just likes the salt-and-pepper beard.

Yeah. Seemed is the right word.

Moments like this remind me how behind the curve a lot of Minnesota sports fans can be. (“What?! BRETT FAVRE?! That’s a name we’ve heard before! Other people have heard it too!”) As a Bills fan I can’t really speak from personal experience, but if I can speak to the facial expressions I see from people in Vikings jerseys around, Favre might not be the best idea, no matter what color are state is on that chart.

And no, I have no idea about North Dakota.

So ESPN is reporting that Brett Favre is in talks with the Vikings to become their new QB. Looks like “Summer of Favre part 2 (3 in Wisconsin): Bride of Childress” is upon us. Ugh.

Below is my personal letter to Brett. Read the rest of this entry →

I have figured out why the Carolina Panthers don’t win Super Bowls. More on that later. >