The Rookies

$3.50 for Angels and Airwaves, but not one cent for earthquake relief. Oh, and plenty of ugly antipathy for other people’s grandmothers.

Update: Shirley began Valentine’s Day in as classy a manner as possible.

The writers of The Rookies have a special chat room where we talk about many kinds of topics, ranging from boobs to purchasing lamps to the lovely way Chuck’s hair shimmers in the moonlight.

Here’s a snippet of some letters typed together to provoke laughter or shock.

Chuck Knoblockhead: So you’re not supposed to make the girl pay?
Minda: . . .
Chuck Knoblockhead: Well fuck, you say you want to be equal and then you won’t pay for 100% of the meal?
Chuck Knoblockhead: HOW DOES THAT MAKE ANY SENSE?
Minda: SEVENTY CENTS TO THE DOLLAR!
Chuck Knoblockhead: EQUAL PAY FOR EQUAL WORK
Andy Hutchins: EQUAL SUGAR SUBSTITUTE
TheDerridaDrop: No Blood For Oil!
Andy Hutchins: Don’t Tread on Me!
TheDerridaDrop: 9/11 WAS AN INSIDE JOB
Chuck Knoblockhead: 54′ 40″ OR FIGHT
Minda: KANYE WAS FRAMED
TheDerridaDrop: I LIKE IKE
Chuck Knoblockhead: WAKE UP SHEEPLE
Andy Hutchins: MILLIONS FOR DEFENSE, BUT NOT ONE CENT FOR THE CHICAGO TRIBUNE IF THEY HIRE MARIOTTI
TheDerridaDrop: THE NARD DOG
Chuck Knoblockhead: THE NARD DOG
Chuck Knoblockhead: ROAD TRIP!
TheDerridaDrop: I’m so scared from all the yelling

We find our hero at home, stoically picking an epic eye booger.

Jeff: Boy, this thing just does NOT want to come out!

(spends several hours trying to remove eye booger)

(realizes he’s been working on the wrong eye)

(finally clears out the correct one)

Jeff: Silly me, that went much easier! Now that my eyes are functioning at optimal levels again I should do something that uses them. But what? Read the rest of this entry →

Remember the name.

The situation more closely resembled a high school game than a Division 1 revenue sport contest. The video you will probably see on SportsCenter is grainy and taken from the videoboard feed in the arena, not from any TV feed. But the shot was real, probably the best buzzer-beater you will see all year, and the player who made it, Jeremy Lin,certainly belongs on any college basketball court in the land. Read the rest of this entry →

We yield all our time.

It is silly to only post for Last Call, no? So we’re respectfully asking to be removed from the Last Call crew. Certainly, if you’re looking for conversation, people can be found in all the old familiar places.

Content next week. Maybe. Or not.

Hockey Hall of Fame weekend-did you know that hockey has its very own hall of fame? It’s true! The good folks of the NHL and the other hockey powers that be were even thoughtful enough to place it in one of the largest cities of North America (albeit Toronto) instead of exotic eastern central New York or eastern Ohio ala football and baseball. Anyhow, the Hockey Hall of Fame saw fit to take this year to honor Brett “HIS FOOT WAS IN THE CREASE” Hull, Red Wings great Steve Yzerman, legendary Rangers blueliner Brian Leetch, Kings star Luc Robitaille, and Devils GM Lou Lamoriello. Speaking of Toronto and hockey players who haven’t been decent since the lockout… Read the rest of this entry →

We’ve reached the second week of November, which means that yes, believe it or not, the college basketball season is right around the corner. As Isiah Thomas’s FIU Golden Panthers get eviscerated by North Carolina tonight, the journey to the Final Four will officially be underway. There are prohibitive favorites to square off in Indianapolis in early April — Kansas, Kentucky, Villanova, Duke, and Texas immediately spring to mind– but what of the talented teams who are not projected to make it to the Final Four? Which teams have the ingredients necessary to make a deep run in March? Join me after the jump as I analyze three surprising candidates to make the Final Four. Read the rest of this entry →

At Last Call everyone knows MK's ... uh, name?

An up and down day yesterday for Philadelphia has made for a rough Monday, but nothing like Miranda stopping by to cheer us up. The Eagles destructed the Giants, but alas, the Yankees prevailed over the ever-reliable Brad Lidge. Game 5 of the World Series is tonight, with Cliff Lee taking the mound against A.J. Burnett to keep the Phillies alive. So let all the Phillies fans and Yankees haters pray together tonight for a Phillies victory. No fucking way I want to see the A-Rod’s centaur ass jumping around for joy in Philly. Now on to the jams…

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Too lazy for links, like we are? Hit the Pub, the Sportress, Style Points, Avoiding the Drop, or Second-String Fullback for your sports views and such.

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