The Rookies

Let us look at the awful majesty, the retarded brilliance of this:

Can you even find a good place to start bashing that caption? What could have been the thought process here:

ESPN.COM HOME PAGE WRITER: Zack Greinke? Who the hell is that? What are the Royals? That’s not Justin Verlander’s team! (spends three seconds looking up wins, losses, and ERA) A-HA!

Click through to the MLB page, and we get this:

Look at that beautiful piece of audience manipulation! The sinister, Darth Sidious expression! The egregious, borderline-irresponsible italics! “The buzz!” THAT must be why he won! Not because he’s better than Felix Hernandez, or any other AL pitcher. Duh.