Last Call: Shana Tova!
L'shana Tova Bar
For those of you who aren’t members of the tribe, tonight launches Rosh Hashannah, the Jewish new year. That means suits, services, and apples & honey. But we also have some fantastic football to look forward to this weekend, so to my Jewish brothers, Happy New Year, and to everyone else, sit on your ass and watch some football. As for the college ranks, we saw a huge result last night in Miami’s thrashing of Georgia Tech. As for the best game of Saturday, we get to see our resident unicorn Minda’s beloved Cornhuskers at VA Tech. I like the Hokies at home for the victory. As for the other intriguing games of the Saturday, I see Florida destroying Tennessee and USC narrowly avoiding the upset in Washington.
As for the NFL, here are the picks from this amateur degenerate gambler:
Atlanta (-6) over Carolina- I never liked Delhomme, now I really don’t like him.
St. Louis (+10) over Washington- Too many points for Washington’s offense to cover.
Houston (+7) over Tennessee- Houston was the bandwagon, they lose and now they suck. Count me still on the bandwagon (sorta).
Philadelphia (Even) over New Orleans- Philly has the best corners in football and Trent Cole coming at Brees’s head.
New England (-3) over NY Jets- I cannot see a Belichick coached team getting beat by a rookie QB.
Kansas City (-2.5) over Oakland- Kansas City is at home, and there’s no way the Raiders can play that well two weeks in a row.
Arizona (+3) over Jacksonville- I like the chances of the Cardinals offense clicking this week.
Green Bay (-9.5) over Cincinnati- Think the Stokley catch hangs over the Bengals for at least one more week.
Minnesota (-10) over Detroit- AP vs. Detroit D. AP wins.
Tampa Bay (+4) over Buffalo- Tough game to pick this week, like Tampa’s chances to play Bills tough.
Seattle (+1.5) over San Francisco- I’ll take Hasselbeck over Shaun Hill.
Pittsburgh (-3) over Chicago- Jay Cutler sucks. Steelers win big.
San Diego (-3) over Baltimore- Don’t count out San Diego, Chargers are a good, good team.
Denver (-3) over Cleveland- The neckbearded one leads the Broncos to a 2-0 start!
NY Giants (+2.5) over Dallas- Giants are really good, Cowboys are good. Giants Win.
Indianapolis (-3) over Miami- This is a sucker line, Dolphins are not a good team. Colts offense tears up Dolphins.
Song of the Night: Slaughterhouse is straight fire, good to see these guys team up.
Links
Tony Reali: Fantasy Genius?
Super Tecmo Magic from JoPo
Would this make Mauer Leonardo?
Pshh, like the MLS is logical.
Writing “Pay Me” on your shoes may not be the best means of contract negotiation.
Introducing Fanalytics
Topic of Discussion:
What is the better video game, FIFA or NHL (both in their current forms and in their histories)
Have a good weekend people.
I like how you acknowledge Rosh Hashannah, then the video link has a hog-tied hog. I like the juxtaposition.
Hrmm – those are my favorites 1/2 – hockey by a nose cuz i know the sport better, but fifa is fantastic.
Hello
Hi Matt.
For people who bet on football I was wondering if you have a strategy? I like to do spread for the favourites and money line for dogs. It seems to work decent and I don’t get burned that often.
I used to comment on deadspin via facebook if you are curious who I am.
Does that mean you are Matt as in Matt K? Although, you normally refer to yourself by your last name so I’m confused.
Anyway, I don’t bet on football.
My entire comment is a big pile of shit but I felt as though you deserved a response.
Yep MattK laziness got the best of me. I am calling it a night but will try and drop in more often.
Cool man, I think you were the one good thing to come out of facebook.
Hey Matt!
I used to like old hockey nhl 95, but then FIFA became my choice around the millennium, for some reason I don’t have either now but feel like playing soccer.
I’m going to a retreat in the woods tomorrow and will miss every single game. I already have a plan in place – I am getting the scores texted to me, and a few games recorded.
I’m going to spend a solid afternoon/evening/weekend gambling… the only “plan” I have in place is setting the DVR and trying to burn through a half dozen games Sunday Night/Monday afternoon.
Luckily, other than Kiffen v Meyer I, I’m not feeling like I’m missing much.
Gambling sounds solid.
UK is playing Louisville and it’s not a big game except for the in-state rivalry aspect. I am a bit bummed that I have to miss it live.
Personally, I prefer advances in the woods. Retreats are for wimps;).
But I have all these white flags that need to be used!
White? After Labour Day? How uncouth.
BTW, is it true that the first words a French child learns is “I surrender” in German?
First words maybe, but the first phrase French children learn is Alle unsere weißen Flaggen sind schmutzig, weil wir französisch sind, aber wir geben auf
Rob – I’m a fashion-rebel.
Trojan – I haven’t studied any German in 5 years and I understood most of that. I am only saying this to pat myself on the back.
Well, I didn’t understand any of it… but I’m hesitant to copy and paste it into Babelfish to get the translation…
Don’t be Rob, I don’t speak a word of German
Did anyone catch the sneak peek of Archer last night after It’s always Sunny in Philly, that show was some pretty epic win.
anyone here? I need cheering up and you guys always make me laugh
Just look at a picture of my face, it usually provides a good laugh.
/tries too hard at self-deprecating humor.
your actual picture or your avatar?
They are each funny in their own way.
whats gotcha feeling blue?
ok here’s a summary of a summary
It started out fine, the checkout person wished me a happy bday when I bought my 2 buck chuck. To understand this you need to know that I used the school shuttle system. So I told the shuttle driver to pick me up at 5 pm. I got everything done at 4:30 (with only $3 left in my name), but I wasn’t going to be a dick, so I waited until 5. I even got to play w/ a dog. he didn’t show up at 5 so I call him and he said 5:30, and I said that’s late, could he pick me up before then. 5:15 rolls around and he’s still not here so I call him again. He HADN’T EVEN LEFT CAMPUS.
So I told him this is important that he needs to pick me up (dinner ends at 6 on Fridays). He picks me up 10 minutes later, w/ 2 students in the shuttle, including the dude student worker I work w/ who doesn’t do shit (this info is important). So we are heading west on San Vicente, and I decide to call my daddy, who has been in physical pain recently. He tells me that mom is still at work in a parent teacher meeting and my sister is having contractions but her water hasn’t broken. I tell him to go get some rest and say bye. We then turn on S Bundy which is the opposite direction of school, so I ask where we’re going. Andre tells me we’re headed to Santa Monica. I get really pissed, and call my daddy, speaking spanish about what a dick this driver is. I was so pissed I couldn’t get out a full sentence, so my daddy told me that he is going to make my mom call me once she gets home.
I did say that this whole thing is stupid (again in spanish).
I realize that I won’t be back at school in time for dinner since they say they close at 6, but in reality it’s more like 5:45, so I start texting my auntie who lives in Venice. She’s in San Diego w/ her bf, so I’m screwed. During texting dude student worker turns to me and said that what I said offended him and I was like how so. He said it was really wrong of me to call the driver stupid (I called him worse things but NEVER called him stupid). I told him that he was going to make me miss dinner. Dude student worker was like that’s no big deal. I was like I don’t have any money. He was like he didn’t need to pick you up. I told him that he was wrong, that it is his job to pick me up. He then said that I’m not his employer. I told him I was since part of my loans pay for his job. My mom then calls and since I can’t go back and forth in english and spanish like I used to, I started explaining to her the situation in English. The bus driver then yells that I should tell her that I told him over the phone to pick me up at 6.
I NEVER FUCKING SAID THAT.
He showed dude student worker some bullshit phone records that had him calling a phone number in my area code but not mine. I told him that my phone has records too. My mom then says that I will have to live on hummus for tonight but she will put money in my account first thing tomorrow. Dude student worker then said you shouldn’t tell people how to do their job which was a passive aggressive thing because I have told him to put away his cell phone at work.
I’m tired, stressed, over worked, underpaid, with so much family drama, that this sent me over the edge and I am now crying.
AND OH SHIT THAT WAS LONGER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.
Well that…that sounds shitty.
Also hooray public transit system in LA, I mean I always assumed they were dicks I just never had any proof
Ah, the old relying on college students on a Friday afternoon. I don’t like to have people rely on me no matter the day or time.
My recommendation: take a shower. When I’m overworked I love to take a long shower. Its just you, nothing else to worry about.
I would much rather get drunk, listen to Al Green, and harass you guys online.
When I would get home at 1 or 2 it would be too late to harass people online, and I’d have to get up to early to get drunk. And that takes some of the fun out of Al Green.
For this situation you have a good plan.
Oh, I plan on getting drunk on my own. Again, I only have $3, but I do have 2 buck chuck on me.
Look at it like this, the stupid driver will probably never ever be more than that, while you will go on to become someone of worth. Fuck em all. and just think of how much your mood will turn when you see that new baby. New Babies make everything better.
that reminds me… it’s 9pm, I haven’t had dinner yet… and don’t really want to cook, but won’t be home for leftovers. Whatever. Ice cream for dinner.
That just makes me want to have ice cream instead of real food, but I don’t have an excuse to fall back on
Do you live alone and/or have to plan your own meals? If Yes, THEN you don’t need a fucking excuse… it could be Chunky Monkey… or Americone Dream… or maybe just simple chocolate… Butter Pecan… give in to your desires….
I have a choice between chocolate chip and cookies and cream…hardest decision ever? Hardest decision ever
Hardest decision… but there are no wrong answers….
Why would there need to be excuse if you live w/ people?
2 part answer: 1. If you live with a parent, they tend to frown on the “Ice Cream For Dinner Theory” FACT. 2. If you have a roommate, they will also want to have ice cream for dinner, thereby eliminating another day in which you can have ice cream for dinner. It’s all about CONTROLLING the ice cream intake!
Yeah, I buy my own ice cream so my parents never say anything when I’m home. I think that would also apply to a roommate.
You’ve apparently never stolen your roommates ice cream… or bourbon… or girlfriend….
Oh and I keep forgetting to ask, AA did you ever get around to trying to train your dog?
Actually not yet – I just moved (god what an awful process) and I was planning a retreat for 25 people. This retreat happens tomorrow.
I am going to when I get back, and I’ll give you an update.
Ya moving is always a freaking awful experience, nothing like having to continually move in either june or august in LA with the 95 degree heat…always a fun time being a student without permanent housing
Yeah, definitely. I moved in 95 degree heat and it was no fun. Bright side – I might not have to move again for like 4 years.
Ryan Matthews is making a game of it for Fresno State.
Why am I funny when I don’t think about it, but when I think about it I fall flat on my face?
First, let’s discuss the misconception about you being funny…
I get told I’m funny all the time.
Funny-lookin’!
you created hummus vagina. you are funny fo sho
It’s all about living in the moment and accessing your instincts, though I’m unfunny enough that you probably shouldn’t take my perspective seriously. You normally crack me up on LC.
off to bed and a 5k bright and early…
Should I go up there and paragraphify Marissa’s thing?
Like I said, I had no idea it was that long. Sorry!
No, but now that you mention it, it’d be nice to have fucking spaces when I hit the damn enter button. What are you, fucking rookies or something…
/looks at the name on the blog
//oh yeah
There’s a way to do it. Just hit return and enter (br) with < and > anywhere you want a break.
Like this.
Well, now you’re just trying to fuck with my head, aren’t you.
/goes back to Penny Arcade
Yo Marissa, I’m really sad for you, and I’mma let you finish, but … AcmeSalesRep has the worst public transit story of all time. OF ALL TIME!
/yeah I know, fifteen minutes are already more than up
It’s still funny to me! Maybe because I didn’t actually see it.
Ryan Mathews… 3 TDs tonight… 69, 60, 68 yard runs. And FSU is down only 7 again.
I’ll be honest, I wasn’t in the mood for football so I’ve been listening to Beyonce. I am kool.
It’s been a really good game… but between the interwebs and online poker and butterflies, it’s been there.