The Rookies

Francisco Martinez does his best Failcoeur.

Every year the Mets seem poised for a great season, and…fail. But two Rookies disagree on whether you should feel bad for them.

LWBH

So the Mets fail. Repeatedly. Are we supposed to go “Poor Mets” and empathize? Well, no thanks. These are the reasons you should never, ever, feel bad for the Metropolitans:

1. They have the second-highest payroll in Major League Baseball.

The only team with a higher payroll? The New York Yankees. And while the Yankee way of spending your way out of a paper bag has produced wins (but no rings) this decade, it also makes it that much sweeter when they lose. Not only do I NOT feel bad when the Yankees lose, I actually revel in their misery. So why should I commiserate with these guys?

2. Shit happens. Get over it.

The Mets have a lot of players injured. Like, a LOT. That sucks for them. But does it mean I should feel bad for them? Hell and no. Injuries are a part of sports; it’s not like Jose Reyes is out because he caught the plague volunteering in a third-world country with the WHO. When you sign a player there is a chance they are going to get hurt. Has it happened more to the Mets recently than most teams? Sure. Does that make it sadder to a fan of any other major league team? Nope.

Why should it be funny when Carl Pavano gets hurt in New York, but tragic when it happens to Billy Wagner?

3. You have rings.

Hi there, I’m a fan of one of the eight teams that has never won a World Series title. What’s that you say? You can’t seem to win your division despite your inflated bankroll and team of stars? Boo. Hoo. At least you guys have some titles to fall back on. As an added insult I’m a fan of the Houston Astros, a team that entered the league in 1962, the same year at the Mets. So far Houston has zero World Series wins versus New York’s two, and actually hadn’t won a playoff series before this decade. So where’s our pity party ever September?

4. What makes you so special?

No, seriously, why should anyone feel worse for you than any other team that can’t win their divison? Look at Toronto, for goodness sakes! In any other division, they would be making playoff appearances left and right, but they’re stuck behind Boston and New York (and now maybe Tampa Bay) for eternity. But they don’t ask for our pity, and they deserve it way more.

5. Come on, this isn’t sad, this is funny.

Rock

1. They have the second-highest payroll in Major League Baseball.

What does this mean? The Mets try. They bring in players they think can contribute to the cause of winning a World Series. That’s a far more dignified goal than the Marlins Method of building a team of young, cheap players and selling them off if they get expensive. They have money, yes, but they spend it. That’s a good thing, one that shows recognition of their advantages and an attempt to capitalize on them.

2. Injuries suck.

Go read the ESPN roster page and look for the “DL” stickers. Yes, injuries suck for everyone, but the Mets have been hit so hard that Angel Berroa and Angel Pagan have both played in games for them this year.

And spare me the Carl Pavano talk: He was not and was never going to be the ace of the Yankees’ staff, and it was Yankee fan whining about his fate that spurred a lot of that schadenfreude. There isn’t as much for John Maine, the comparable injured Mets starter, for a reason.

3. Mets fans whine quietly.

Every fan base has its share of fans who are both overly partisan and tenuously connected to reality. You may know them as “TAWMEE FROM QUINZEE” or “piniellaspinata” or “UkraineNotWeak.” But when Mets fans are whining about their team, they are, to my mind, far less obnoxious than the average Red Sox or Phillies or Yankees fan. We just notice them more on the Internet because Mets fans are there.

I won’t get into why there are more Mets fans on the Internet. That would be a bad idea.

4. Mets fans have reason to whine.

Hey, remember this?

Yeah, they lost that game. And they collapsed down the stretch each of the past two years. And their team managed to get taken by Bernie Madoff and sponsored by Citibank while payroll soared and a stadium was built, decreasing intake and increasing outflow such that rising ticket prices make a little sense. So you have fans paying more money for a less satisfying product.

Whining, in that instance, is fine, and perhaps to be expected.

5. They’re still the Mets.

This is a second-class team in a first-class city. And at least the other two MLB teams like that (the Angels and White Sox) have a World Series win this decade. The Mets have to go back to a 1986 title that is less their win than a totemic loss for the title-starved Red Sox fan’s mythos.

Their great pitchers are forever underrated (Tom Seaver) or derailed by rails of cocaine (Doc Gooden). Their history sits in the shadows of the pinstriped franchise across town. Their beloved stadium’s most important moment was a Beatles concert.

Despite their World Series titles, the Mets are losers, and for a team whose losing is recent and heartbreaking and has yet to become canonized and commercialized pathos (looking at you, Cubbies), that’s worth a scintilla or two of “Sorry.”

Agree? Disagree? That’s why there’s a comments section.