The Rookies

Newwwwww suits!

Has this first half of fantasy baseball not gone your way? Were you the unlucky guy that drafted Justin Duchscherer and Brandon Webb? Well stop crying and choose some of these fucking awesome players that I’ve chosen for you. If your league is full with a bunch of couch-humping idiots, you can find these players on the waiver wire.


If you have a group of competent, competitive team managers, I’m sorry, you must be playing for money.

Michael Bourn, OF

He may not be much in the power category, and has a fairly mediocre batting average at .289, but that’s not why you need him. Finding a player who can steal bases consistently is hard this year, with Jacoby Ellsbury (Samer homerism alert!) being near the top of that list. Bourn has 29 steals on the year, and is capable of swiping bags in bunches, with three steals Saturday in a game against the Washington Nationals. He’s been batting well lately too, getting two triples in the past three games. If you missed out on the draft guys with speed, try and pick up Michael Bourn.

Nyjer Morgan, OF

Oh shit, I just talked about this guy right above. He’s basically the same person. Another speed player, incredibly similar stats to Bourn.

Pablo Sandoval, 3B/C

Affectionately called “Kung Fu Panda,” Sandoval is more than a cute nickname. He’s practically the Giants’ entire offense, hitting .331 so far this season. Sandoval’s been hitting well lately too, with three homers and 13 RBI in his past seven games. The best part is his versatility: He’s eligible for third base and catcher (and in my Yahoo league, first base too). His power can fit anywhere in your lineup without you sacrificing any great players at those positions.

Edwin Jackson, SP

If you’re in need of some good consistent pitching, Jackson should be heavily considered. He hasn’t allowed more than three earned runs in his past 12 appearances, pitching two shutouts in that span too. He’s got a 2.52 ERA, but people are still waiting for him to fall apart. Take advantage of that and get use out of a couple games from him.

Rafael Soriano

To balance the starting pitcher, I also included a relief pitcher. Soriano started slow, but has been picking up saves recently since Mike Gonzalez is sucking as a closer for the Atlanta Braves. In his past 13 appearances, he only gave up runs in one. Soriano’s also got 55 K’s and a 1.51 ERA. The Braves might not offer many save opportunities (Rock note: Because they’re not very good, you see!), but Soriano is a name to keep in mind if anything should happen to your current relief.