Last Call: A Modest Proposal
Rock’s note: thederridadrop, continuing to say things better than I can.
Alright, this has gone far enough.
It’s obvious—I’m talking to you, you “Spinners”, you “Deadheads”, you “wanderers in the land of Drew”, you “scalers of the aggro Craggs”—that you and we (us?) cannot exist on the same Tnternetz together with all the hostility we are perpetrating. We knew it would come;mdash&we knew it the moment we saw Samer’s “WEINTRAUB 4 LIFE” birthmark. Now, it’s time to duke it out on the field of honor, the only way we know how—the only way men know how…
WITH A SACK RACE!!1!!11ELEVEN!
That’s right, los bitchachos! We’re calling you out for a good, old fashioned, American potato sack race! (Provided potato sacks still exist; we have to check in on that.) Seeing as we Rooks are planning a little get-together in Madison, Wisconsin this coming Halloween (Rock: Planning’s a strong word.), we figure why not do it there? IN THE HEARTLAND OF AMERICA, WHERE THE BLOG WARS ARE FOUGHT.
Here are the steps:
- One-on-one races between our writers and yours. Whatever team has the most victories at the end of the day wins. If you do not have enough writers to race us, we will race nearby caterpillars and lawn animals.
- Hot dogs will be provided on site. We would promise cheese, but LittleWaynesBleedingHead would eat it.
- Winner will receive: free round of beer at whatever bar we hobble into afterward. Unless we win, in which case juice boxes will suffice.
So there it is, fellas. It’s time to put your blog where your hyperlinks are!
Or, as we might say:
It looks as though (puts on sunglasses) the balls are in your court.
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
———————————————————
Hi. It’s Rock again.
So, uh, about last night: Things are fine. Read what you want, where you want, and from who you want, but know that A.J. and I talked privately and cleared things up, so we have no beef. I would appreciate it if you (meaning you, the fourteen of you who read this) respected that. Taking shots isn’t what makes a blog; valuable content is.
We will be around this weekend with some of that valuable content (I hear PiniellasPinata is happy about his Lakers getting Ron-Ron), but, well, we have families and America to love, too. Go to a picnic (my hometown has one in which a single dollar gets you a full meal; I love my city, sometimes), eat a hot dog, do whatever. Enjoy the weekend.
And for today, know that it’s okay.
Now, about that bright stuff coming in my window…
