The Rookies

We at the Rookies have something special in store for you today. If you’re a Deadspin reader/commenter, you’ll know that the comment section is chock full of hilarious wits and entertaining one liner spewers. I, Shakey, have snagged an interview with one of the top dogs, Mr. Gourmet Spud. If you don’t know him, why not check out some of his sample work.

As a victim of Mad Cow Disease, I:

(a) find this whole “meat madness” concept in bad taste, and
(b) have two weeks to live.

It’s times like these I’m glad I reside on a pop-bottle raft floating out in international waters.

TaylorMade and Golfsmith.com will refund the cost of your driver if El Nino wins at Augusta. They will also buy you a house if John Daly is ever elected Senator.

Thanks for nothing, Kyle. Now I can add a quadruple amputee to the list of people who’ve got a better physique than me.

You’ve just been enlightened by his comments, but you must know more. So today we’re about to be educated in the ways of the mystery man known as Gourmet Spud. And I’m going to RIP THE LID OFF OF IT!

You run the excellent blog Food Court Lunch. Who are the othercontributors and do they ever make an appearance in the Deadspin comment land?

Butter Chicken and Blue Menu, who both appear on DS every now and then when they remember their log-in passwords. And General Tao, who is terrified of technology, and therefore expresses his posts through the medium of dance and we translate them.

You are known by many as the funniest on Deadspin. When you get +1’s, do they even affect you anymore? When I get one I am very happy for hours. But you get so many, it’s like tooth analogies for Reilly: inevitable. Thoughts?

I think you are confusing me with Doyle McPoyle.

Are you afraid that if you become TOO funny, people will take you for granted?

Yes. Constantly.

Many top commenters slowly disappear from the Deadspin boards after achieving success (BDD, Caveman, CTC, etc). You are still kickin’. Do you plan on staying for the long haul such as regular commenters like me?

As long as I have internet access and a poor attitude towards work, I will be commenting on Deadspin.

Who are some of your favorite commenters?

That’s a long list. I laugh out loud reading the comments at least five times a day. It’s a very funny group. Off the top of my head, Doyle, Suss, Weed, ArkansasFred, Cheese Mac, David Hume…and CTC and Maj before they found Jesus and stopped commenting.

Number one commenter on the ‘Spins today?

You mean besides The Mentalist? Stev D. He sees the world in a unique way.

Favorite Deadspin meme thing? I like Kige Ramsey.

Anything but the pun pyramids. Which I realize is hypocritical, because I make them all the time.

You also are a part of the hilarious FakeRickReilly Twitter, with Big Daddy Drew. When did you two come up with the idea to spoof him, and how long do you plan on doing it?

Drew came up with the idea, and asked me to write it with him. I think we’ll do it until Twitter shuts us down again, or Reilly mans up and accepts our challenge for a no-holds-barred pun-off.

Why did you pick the name Gourmet Spud?

Butter Chicken actually gave it to me when he started our site. It was the name of a food court franchise in Toronto that served, literally, fancy potatoes. It…didn’t do very well. Also, I am of Irish heritage and Butter Chicken is an exceptional racist.

What is your favorite blogging achievement? Making that newspaper awhile back and being called a ‘wit’?

We got a letter from the lawyers for Archie Comics awhile back, expressing concern over a post we wrote called “Catching Up With Reggie Mantle“. The post portrayed him as a womanizing, coked-up investment banker with mangled genitalia that he liked to show off to strippers, and he had never quite gotten over Veronica dumping him. The letter set out in detail the behaviour we had him engaged in that they felt was inappropriate. The fact that a lawyer had to go through our post and make detailed notes of what they found offensive literally made our year.

My second favourite achievement is you asking to interview me.

Will you ever take your humor to the mainstream, a la BDD?

Um, I say with no false modesty that there isn’t quite the same demand for our respective services. Drew’s a pretty rare talent.

When a couple commenters and I were discussing the fake Reilly Twitter about the time it was created, a commenter (I tried to find the exact comment but I failed) mused that he thought it was you. You said it was clever, but most definitely not you. You denied. You have been caught. Uh-oh. Must I speak with your lawyer or will you comment?

It was Fozzie Bear. I actually felt bad about that, but Drew didn’t actually ask me to write it with him until a couple hours after I responded to his comment. So it wasn’t a lie at the time. But I never corrected it, which I guess is kind of a lie.

So if you’re reading this, Fozzie Bear, I’m sorry.

That was an odd sentence to type.

As a Canadian, do you prefer spelling color ‘colour’ or ‘color’?

Sorry, I’m not familiar with that last word.

Who is your favorite Canadian? Please say Neil Young?

Is Barack Obama Canadian? If not, Bill Wennington.

You’ve been the weekend daddy at Deadspin  a few times. Any plans on expanding your time on Deadspin?

If I spent any more time on Deadspin, I’d have to start wearing diapers.

Thoughts on the downfall of print journalism?

I just wish someone would consider the birdcage owners. Don’t they know how expensive sawdust is?

Any tips to becoming a better commenter?

Believe in your dreams? Oh, and only steal from new Simpsons episodes, because no one watches them anymore.

What are your thoughts on this avatar:


It looks like a half-naked Darth Vader with a beer gut.

If you were a rapper, what would your handle be?

Gourmet Snow.

Teams you follow?

The Blue Jays, Raptors and, God willing, the Toronto Bills.

Which do you prefer, the Leitch or Daulerio regime? What do you like best about Daulerio’s changes?

They are/were both just seatwarmers until Kige saves up enough box tops for that Mac. And I think they both know and accept this.

"Deadspin's future," says Gourmet Spud.

Will you enjoy another season of mediocrity by the Jays?

The worst part is, we had a nice little arrangement going with the Red Sox and Yankees, where they would let us finish third every year. Then Tampa Bay came along and screwed everything up. This season is going to be awful, I think. But on the bright side, we still owe Vernon Wells $100 million.

Sorry there were so many questions. You don’t have to answer all if you don’t want to.

Now you tell me!

Thanks!

No, thank you.